My Life.My Style

**2 more papers n no mood to study! -_-

Sat was packed to the brim.. 9am-11pm

Went bk to SR for College Anniversary

*I din noe it was a formal event =( I even wore my Chingay Tee w Shorts!*

See how glam my darling was… like Goddess =] i love.

My main purpose was to go n catch the dance team’s SYF performance - Gold with Honours~! nice.. but had to endure the speeches n the prize presentations zzZZ..

Aft dat rushed bk to church for Youth - GAMES DAY! The kids r violent i tell u… Xiu Hao injured her fingure n it SWELLED like mad.

And I rushed again for Granny’s Bday celeb. 1 hr to prepare ok! had to line my eyes in da-ge’s car -_-

But the food ahh… totally worth the rush!! Ala Carte Buffet at Paramount =D so i chose my dress properly - made sure it hides any sign of tummy  hurhur =]

*she did dat 5 times b4 all the candles went out*

*confetti bcoz dere was a weddin dwnstairs. And the kids juz wan to go dwnstairs, pick up all the confetti n bring them up in their pockets*

These are our top 3 fav desserts (part of buffet = unlimited).

1.Herbal Jelly 2.Honey Dew Sago 3.Almond jelly w Longan

But the best, is when u mix them up.

Tried n tested by Linda (look how satisfied she is…)

See, it’s true, desserts make girls happy. Especially pretty girls xD

ahh… it’s really nice to spend some time w the family like dis, especially such joyous occasion =] Long Live Grandma!! X)

*Im putting up many2 pix here so dat i wun overload my frenster photos further*

"Love is when you give someone the power to hurt you but trust them not to."

Damn rite it is.

Wad seemed like a normal, dreary monday morn, turned out to be far from dat in VTec.

I’ve been close on the news of the campus shoot-off, watching and reading as the police gather more info on the killer. Korean guy. Loner. Lit student. Senior yr. Dat was all they got on tues.

Mum n I were tokin abt it, and we concluded dat he must be facin some stress or really -ve things. Depression perhaps.

And true enuf, depression.

I rmbed my Psych lectures, and all the qns we asked.

Was he inherently bad? Did sth pushed him to a state of devastation? Was it his mind, his thots? Wad WAS in his mind? Was he hearin ‘voices’ to tell him to carry out a massacre? Was it pent-up frustrations? Was he discriminated? Was it social pressure?

Scary isn’t it.

How things like pent-up frustrations, grieving thots and the way one is treated by others can drive a person to such extent.

34 lives..

And not just dat 34 lives. But the lives of their families, relatives, frens, loved ones and the entire sch population. None, I believe, are not affected.

I just hope that the ones affected will haf the strength to carry on. and may peace be with the ones dat are gone.

Now we wait as the police try to find out the motive behind the shoot-off. Thru his words perhaps. For he was a lit student.

And i wonder.. wad wld have happened if dere was s’one, juz one person, dat he could talk to.

Dat day I asked her.

"Wad will u do, if u can step out of my mirror?"

"I’ll live a life u never did."

She stared in my eyes and continued to speak.

"I’ll take the chances u din dare to take,

I’ll make the choices u were too scared to make,

I’ll open doors u left shut tight,

I’ll complete all the things u’ve left aside,

I’ll trot on paths u chose to ignore,

I’ll do it my way and I’ll be strong,

I’ll be bold enuf to live ur dreams,

I’ll be the person u wanted to be."

And she smiled a little,

" Now wad will u do, if u can step out of MY mirror?"

                                                                                                    Blame it on the books I’ve read as a kid, and partly oso my imaginative mind, but once in a while, I’d wonder, "what’s it like on the other side of the mirror? Does my reflection have the same charater as me? Or maybe I’m the reflection not her."

It sounds silly, but it’s dat uncertainty in dis world and the limitation of our knowledge dat makes me believe dat all these may just be possible.

Den again, maybe I’m just childish at heart

I took more den 2 hrs to get home frm sch 2day.

Clementi to amk, but through a much much longer way. I took it once. The journey seemed shorter then.. 

My ipod plugged in, lost in my own world of music and sights.

Top deck, left side, window seat, 5th from the back. Feels like it, coz i din really counted the last time.

I think i took the bus ard the same time the other time. I can only rmb that the colour of the sky’s abt the same..

And i juz sat dere and let the bus retrace the very same route.

I was tired, my eyes grew heavy for a few times.. but when they close, sight gave way to thoughts.

Not wad i needed den. I have quite enuf on my mind.

I wanted to look at the places it passed by, just for one more time. Coz i dun think i ever wanna tk dat bus again. Clementi all the way to amk.

That emptiness im feelin, keeps remindin me dat sth’s missing.. different from the last time.

Ppl came on and off the bus. At times, s’one sat nxt to me, some other time, i was all alone; with the songs, and the sights.

Sth IS missing.. or isit juz different? Not sure..

By the time I reached amk, it’s alrdy dark. 8+, gng 9.

I pressed the bell and got off, but not w/o some balancing act, trying to grab hold of the handles ard.

I watched the bus move off b4 startin on my walk hm.

Damn. I juz wasted 2 over hrs.

And wad was dat feeling dat kept buggin me?

Rite. It WAS different.

The 1st time i took the bus, it was a mistake.

This time, I chose to take it.

The 1st time, I was talking.

This time, I was listening.

The 1st time, I was missing out, concentrating on sth else.

This time, i took in all the sights.

The 1st time, no one else came to sit beside me.

This time, I was aware who was by my side.

The 1st time, i had no struggle in getting off, i noe i wun fall.

This time, I got off on my own. Struggled, but i was still safe.

The 1st time, I took the bus bcoz u were dere.

U assured me that it will get us to whr we wanna go, dat u’ll be dere, to sit beside me, talk to me, hold me tite, kp me safe. So i took it, i dun mind the distance, i dun mind the time. Bcoz u promised.

U’re rite.

U did all that u promised, but the bus din get us whr we wanna go.

So this time. I’m takin the bus myself.

“He died on the cross for us,”

And so I’ve read and heard.

But I didn’t feel the impact in my heart,

Coz I din know how badly it could hurt.

I forgot that He was God,

But also completely man,

When He prayed to God to remove the cup,

Yet willingly obeyed His plan.

The whips on His body,

Hooks tearing His skin.

He was covered with blood,

Of righteousness, not sin.

As the hammer slammed,

The nail pierced in.

Look at your own hand,

And imagine the scene.

The sharp pointed edge,

Cutting through His flesh,

Pierced out from the other side,

And through the thick wooden plank.

Metal, sweat,

Flesh and blood,

With splinters of wood -

All mixed up.

No, that wasn’t enough,

Three times it went,

Flesh and Blood,

Metal and sweat.

They pulled up the cross,

It stood with a jerk.

Imagine the pain,

As He hung by the nails.

Sun and rain,

Rain and Sun.

Heat on His skin,

Blood dripped on the ground.

The clouds rolled in,

The sky turned dark,

“It is accomplished.”

He had finished His task.

S’times I lose faith and I start doubting.

S’times I dun listen to U and I start slipping.

S’times I fall into temptations and I kept on sinning.

S’times I question U, I can’t feel U, I’m struggling.

But when I lose faith, U’re there assuring,

When I’m slipping away, U kept on holding,

When I’m weak, U’re strict but U’re still forgiving,

When I ask why - U look at me smiling:

"wait, my dear, for my perfect timing."

LOrd, I always believe U have a plan. We dun always undstnd, esp at times when we dun fl ur presence and c ur blessings, when we so badly want to do it our own way, when we felt dat we have no time to wait. I pray for the faith n determination to take the step when we nd to. Even if it hurts, even when there’s tears.

Coz I noe that Lord, when I break dwn crying,

U’ll give me the strength to wake up smiling.

06′ has been one of the most happening year of my life so far. As in MOST no. of things HAPPENING in a yr.

Studies

Got my A’s results.. nth amazing, bt amazingly, i got into NUS FASS for my Psych course =)

1st sem in NUS - Campus Life!! CORs System -_- Planning timetable, Soci, SEA Studies, New Media, Malays In S’pore, Einstein’s Universe =D

No uniform, 2-hr lectures, alt weeks tutorials, 4-day wk, READINGS aft READINGS, projs, essays, No Calculations, air-con everywhr, Central Lib, LT11, Arts Canteen, Sub-Way

Bashes, cool ppl, the SDE clique, ‘Sam Part gang’, gr8 proj mates, wonderful DG group

Results for 1st Sem wasn’t fantastic either, gotta chng my study method a lil’ to cater to Arts subjs.. (c’mon… I was frm sci all my life…) But the happy part, I got my Psych mod 4 nxt Sem =D

Dance

The yr started w intensive training at Eug’s… crazy warm-up…

Met The Illers, had a few pracs with them, Wilson, Peter, Krump, DXO, In Your Face, Street Fest, videoSSss…

Got into NUS Dance Blast! , lots of SR seniors =) Pulse, Dance Camp…

Relationships

Family - Less time for them, but closer, esp w my brothers, n sis-in-laws. More things to talk abt, laugh abt, share abt…

Frens - Met new frens, still in contact with the old bunch(es), became closer w some old pals, lots of mt-ups during the hols (it was gr8 to c u guys again man!! I missed u guys…) n still haf tons I’ve not seen =(

Love - Going well, going fine, going 6 yrs in 3 mths time =) There was the bike, den the car, our yt-to-complete choreography, ECP late-nite icecreams, endless debates ( i always ‘win’)…

Spiritual Life

BAPTISED on 24th Dec 2006

Bible study, Sunday Sch, Cell grp (wonderful ppl), Baptism cls, Crusade DG, Carolling, Xmas eve event, preparing to step into YouthMinistry..

I saw many many blessings in the yr that have passed, so many things haf happened as if s’one planned 4 my life, detail by detail. I got the opportunity to c His wonderful wrks, draw closer to Him n learn more abt Him. New struggles, new strength, new faith.

Thk God for my life, the events in my life, the things in my life, each n everyone of the ppl in my life =)

Dis long post sld b considered short bcoz it sums up my entire ‘06. This is a v brief account of wad ive experienced, bt every word in it is gng to hook up lots of precious memories attached to it =)

2007 - Sem 2, Chingay, more mt-ups during dat super long break, the time i start giving back to God. Cheers to a New Yr my frens ~!

Dat’s it~!

4 weeks of sweatin it out, we did it =)

It din matter anymore dat we got 5-pts deducted due to exceedin time limit. We noe it was a job well done, we gave our best. So we did it =)

1st 2 wks were close to hell.. crammin all the steps into 6 days.. it was a quite a struggle 4 me.. 8-11.30 practices meant reachg hm at 12+ and practisin s’more.

Den we got thru Prelims, knowin that it was the theme n choreo dat got us thru..

2 wks to tighten and ‘own’ this dance. To show dat we’re more den juz nice costumes n gd concept.

We did it 2day =)

We danced, we enjoyed, we gave it all, we had gd reviews, we made Xiao proud - he noes we did it 2 =)

I’ve gained alot, I’m glad i took this chance. This 4-wks pushed me, out of my comfort zone n be part of a perf I’m prd of =)

To be in a team hand-picked by Xiao was not the most relaxing experience, bt i’ve learnt alot frm all the other gr8 dancers..

And dat 1 sentance he said to me really helped clear some doubts I have of myself and my dance =)

The Senior team got the champ n I’m so proud of them ~ ! Sld have seen Xiao’s face when he held that trophy…

Like dey say, it’s time to Get Down Hit The Books~!

P.S. Thx to all who came to support, hope yall njoy it, even if u din catch it… (Isaac n Aeron… watch the vid lah)  Luv =)

Move, Harder, Stronger, Tougher.

Groove, Faster, Sharper, Tighter.